Saturday, June 28, 2014

Punography - Old and Still Good for a Chuckle

Jackie Poff
Stroke Survivors Tattler
  • I tried to catch some fog. I mist.  
  • When chemists die, they barium.  
  • Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.  
  • A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
  • I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
  • How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.  
  • I stayed up all night to see  where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.  
  • This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.  
  • I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.  
  • I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.  
  • They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.  
  • This dyslexic man walks into a bra.  
  • PMS jokes aren't funny, period.  
  • A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils.
  • When you  get a bladder infection, urine trouble.  
  • What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
  • I wondered why the cricket ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!  
  • Broken pencils are pointless.  
  • What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.  
  • England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.  
  • I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.  
  • I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.  
  • All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.  
  • I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.  
  • Velcro - what a rip  off!  
  • Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

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