Saturday, March 22, 2014

Meeting Amy

Barb Polan
Barb's Recovery
March 11 / 2014

Amy, another stroke survivor with a blog (mycerebullarstrokerecovery.com), visited us recently.

We – or I at least – did a first-impression analysis of the other’s capabilities. Yes, yes, I know we’re not supposed to compare, but there we were, meeting for the first time after communicating online for months.

I tend to assume that each stroke survivor I “meet” online is in the same condition as I am unless their stroke was longer ago than mine (I expect them to do more than I) or they were more profoundly affected (I expect them to do less than I).

I regularly read Linda Cooper’s blog (http://leadingahealthylife.blogspot.com), and I remember being shocked a couple of years ago when she blogged about attempting to use a power washer to clean the dock at her summer lake house. At the time (or even now), if I tried the same, I’d be like a slapstick version of a firefighter holding a fire hose with so much water pressure he/she gets whipped around by the hose).

Meeting Amy was no different – I expected to see someone like myself. But, as it turned out, she has abilities I envy and can only ever hope to have again: walking safely without a brace or cane, including on stairs, and using her affected hand and arm (after a fashion – no insult intended, Amy.) She could bear hug my dog even though he was a dervish on her lap.

And the two abilities that top it all off:

  • SHE WORE KNEE-HIGH BOOTS WITH SMALL HEELS.
  • SHE CARRIED A REGULAR OVER-THE-SHOULDER PURSE WITHOUT CROSSING IT AROUND HER TORSO.

In comparison, I have no expectation of EVER wearing footwear with any heel to speak of, and how will I ever be able to carry a purse in my hand, or wear it over my shoulder or in the crook of my arm, as Amy did?

As I frequently say, stroke survivors are not in a competition, but it’s a bit frustrating that I’ve spent 4 years working on getting back abilities that Amy’s regained in 3.

Let me get this straight: Envy is not resentment. I envy her, but am not disappointed that she can do more than I; I'm disappointed that I can't do as much as she can. I’m glad she can do what she does, but I sure wish I could do it too.



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