Saturday, April 18, 2015

Scrambled Mantras

Grace Carpenter
My Happy Stroke
Friday, October 14, 2011

A lot of people have urged me to meditate, especially to help with my insomnia. Sometimes I try, but it's hard. Often I just concentrate on my breathing. Usually that helps.

One person suggested to me meditating on the mantra, "I am at peace." But let's be realistic:  I'm not at peace. I'm a skeptic who doesn't like wishful thinking.

I was talking to a friend about meditation, who empathized. She told me she sometimes meditates on the simple phrase, "I am here." As the friend said, there's isn't much to argue about there. I thought maybe I should try it myself. I sat on the floor and closed my eyes.

"Here I am," I said in my head.

Every so often I forget I have aphasia. Until I actually try to say something, even in my head. I tried it again:

"Here am I."

Did I tell you that short phrases are the most difficult ones for many people who have aphasia, including me?

"Am I here."

Maybe I'll just go back to breathing.



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