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| Pamela Hsieh Rehab Revolution |
I was never raised in an environment where I was praised for my very existence, even if supposedly I was very easy to take care of, a fast learner. So it's not like I've grown accustomed to being coddled or heavily encouraged by positivity, but I discovered early on -- like, within the first year -- that it is absolutely essential to honor the little gains you make.
Even if it seems like the world's most banal accomplishment, if it is something you weren't previously able to do, it is a big deal.
Remember that if you haven't lost it, you don't instinctively know how important and exciting it is to lose it and see it return, because you've cultivated it and made it come back. Because you've healed. And this is especially true if it took a long time, since rehab is an ongoing, indefinite effort sometimes.
Let me also point out that these little celebrations will come from a place in her heart that maybe didn't even realize it was missing something: For instance, I remember going to Switzerland one day when I was living in Florence (at a time the exchange rate was about $1.35 to the euro) and discovering that the Swiss franc was a little less than a dollar. Without even being conscious of the economic oppression I'd been feeling underneath the entire time I was living in Italy, it felt as if an ominous presence, a shadow of some kind, had left. I didn't have to worry so much anymore about how much I was spending!
So the day I discovered legwarmers had made a comeback in Europe, I was ecstatic to realize I could start wearing skirts again! The legwarmers would cover up my AFO (ankle-foot orthotic) that I had to wear and I didn't have to hide it under pants all the time anymore! And this was when I was still an aspiring fashion designer, so it was a major change.
When I happily shared the news to my very inconsiderate flatmate who to this day I believe to have been completely devoid of empathy for others, she simply shrugged it off and didn't even smile or attempt to say that was great.
I was devastated. Not because I cared what she thought, but because it was like she'd just thrown a pail of ice water in my face. These seemingly meaningless achievements and discoveries? They mean the world to you when you've had this much taken away. Like a generous filet mignon served to the starving.
So if you find yourself in a position where you've managed to pick up your foot again against foot drop, or you've tied your shoes again, communicate to your loved ones just how phenomenal this is.
Most things are far more complex than you even realize. That's about lesson number one in recovery from paralysis -- even the simplest moves (like opening your hand and straightening out your fingers) are infinitely complicated.
Things that seem easy but aren't?
- wearing flip flops
- putting your hair in a ponytail
- wearing any shoe that's not a gym shoe
- buttoning
- putting on socks
- tying a ribbon, or apron (any kind of straps)
- tiptoeing
- keeping your leg straight as you stand, and not hyperextended backward
- raising your arm up overhead
- walking, with both legs swinging straight across under your hips rather than up and around
- keeping your wrist straight
- peeling afruits and vegetables
- cutting meat at the dining table
- and much more!
Here's an idea. If you don't have an affected side, to better understand what your loved one is forced to do every day -- without the escape of just untying themselves -- try going for an hour or two (or if you're really hardcore, a whole day) with an arm tied behind your back. Or with an oven mitt duct taped to your arm. Try it and see how little you'll be able to do -- and remember that for us it's like that, but worse. Because it's involuntary, and more frustrating because the limb you want to use (the one you're simulating with your hand behind your back or in the mitt) is right there, limp, free to do what you want -- but unable to.
And then come back and try not to see how uplifting these "silly" accomplishments really are.
In short -- if you're the one with the condition, for your own sake, explain it to the people in your social circle to express joy and encouragement when you've regained something new, even if it seems stupid. (It's not.)
If you're without a condition, try the experiment. And muster up that long-lost happiness when you get the chance. That's how you can show you care.
PS. My herb garden is done! Check it out! Looks professional, doesn't it? ;) Kudos to Sarah and my sister for their help . . . couldn't have done it without you!
To our healing and to your infinite celebrations,
Pamela
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