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| Rebecca Dutton Home After a Stroke |
I love dance so I watched a mini-series called Big Ballet on the Ovation channel. The show is about large women and men learning to perform the ballet Swan Lake. My intuition told me watching overweight people struggle would help me with a dilemma in my stroke recovery. Professional dancers who initially pooh-poohed this venture conceded the audience connected with the cast's performance. The 1,500 people in the audience clapped enthusiastically.
Who made this project possible? Wayne Sheep choreographed the ballet. He is a 5 foot 2 inch man who refused to leave professional ballet because he was too small. Monica Loughman is a retired ballerina who trained the dancers. Many of the cast had previous dance experience. However, they had to work hard to gain strength, flexibility, and endurance, learn the steps in the ballet, and learn to express the emotions of characters in a classic story of love and betrayal. Watching a brave group of people triumph over fear of failure and rejection was thrilling because everyone has struggled with these emotions.
Wayne is right. Everyone deserves to dance or have a personal connection with some form of art.
I think art is powerful because it: 1) brings feelings to the surface, 2) tells stories about the human condition, and 3) creates community. Technology has propelled human civilization forward since someone discovered how to make fire. Yet art has stood the test of time because it addresses primal human needs.
How does Big Ballet relate to my dilemma? Occasionally I see people staring at me with a look of horror on their faces. They are imaging something that has nothing to do with me, but it is hard not to take their negative reaction personally. I have thought of several nasty things to say but never followed through because this would intensify the negative feelings I have at that moment. What I learned from watching large men and women dance is they can be graceful and feel proud of themselves. The next time people stare I will try to remember the satisfaction I felt when I learned to push a garbage can to the curb. If I turn the garbage can backwards so the wheels are in front, I can push it like a rolling walker. This is not a small thing. You cannot live alone in your home if garbage piles up. I am not disabled.Finally, Big Ballet reminded me I have prejudices too. I think the head of the Northern Ballet is an elitist a****** who believes the only thing this project accomplished was to besmirch the good name of ballet. He was on screen for maybe two minutes so I know very little about him. Yet every word that came out of his mouth was filtered through this judgment I made about him. When people stare at me with horror, this ballet director will remind me I prejudge some people. Picturing him will give me a chance to forgive myself which makes it is easier to forgive others. This is a selfish strategy. I do not want the time I have left to be high jacked by others peoples' disgust.
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