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| Robin Rocky Mountain Stroke Survivors |
I feel like this is my first spring since the strokes. I wish I had the words to describe the profound difference between last year and this year while describing the profound difference between now and before the strokes. I am still so limited. But I can do things! My brain still gets so overloaded sometimes. But it recovers more quickly.
Last year, overdoing it would mean a week of recovery. And it didn’t take much to overdo it. This year, I can gently push myself. And when I do overdo it (because I am the sort of person who doesn’t know my limits!) instead of falling or lying in bed, clinging to the bed, telling myself over and over again that I am not actually spinning, I feel somewhat dizzy and really snappy. I don’t like this aspect of me now, but I’ve learned it’s common among stroke survivors. When my brain gets tired, everything seems to be coming in too fast, too loud, too bright, and I snap at my kids, my husband, my dog, or (most often actually) my “stupid arm” and “stupid strokes”.
Be that as it may, it is spring and I’m out in the garden again. I can walk over irregular surfaces like a pro with a really funny wide-based gait but without falling. I started numerous batches of seeds indoors and I can transplant 8-10 seedlings before I have to stumble back inside to rest. This is HUGE! This is freedom. I don’t have to wait for someone else to do it for me or just do one plant a day. Not only that, I haven’t killed a single seedling through clumsy handling (though I do have trouble getting them in the hole without mauling them somewhat).
Seeding is still a bit of an issue. I’m starting everything from seeds…mostly leftover seeds from a couple years ago (stored in the fridge and still quite good). I enjoy the process and can’t justify buying a plant for a few dollars when I can start a plant for pennies. I have excruciating arm pain from the tension of trying to get just one bitty seed at a time. I’ve found that starting everything indoors in some old disposable plastic cups with drainage holes punched in the bottom and then transplanting out is much easier for me than leaning over the bed trying to plant those annoyingly tiny seeds and then care for them outside during those care-intensive sprouting days. Instead, I’ve claimed half the stovetop for trays of my seedlings. Broadcast seeding is also amusing…my mesclun is in little clumps instead of nicely spread over the bed. But I am gardening! We are on the way to the absolute most beautiful, productive garden I have ever planted.
It is also a huge relief to have a hobby again. I used to be a very busy person and loved biking, scrapbooking, knitting, writing, gardening, and baking in particular, in addition to being the sole provider for the family and mom of two small ones. My hubby has learned to bake. The scrapbooks and knitting are languishing (though my son convinced me to start working on a sweater for him on huge needles with chunky yarn). The blogging is nearly non-existent (as you know…sorry!) The biking is still pretty limited (I made it up to 6 blocks away with my hubby and didn’t know if I’d make it back!) But I can garden. My brain has something fun to fiddle with in my spare moments.
What hobbies have you lost? What hobbies have you reclaimed? Do you have a garden? If not, I highly recommend it! Even a pot of chives in the window sill is lovely.
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