Saturday News

Contents of This Week Saturday News:

• Headline - One-Hand Typing with Your Cell Phone
• Eclectic - Many articles from many Guest Bloggers about Stroke
• Judgment Call
• The End of a Myth
• Answering Machines & Aphasia...
• Can an iPhone or other Smartphone Save Your Life?
• How Brain Performs 'Motor Chunking’ Tasks
• Waiting, or Not
• Constraint Therapy is Good and Bad
• Gift Ideas for Survivors
• Video: Be Brave, Try Something New: Aphasia Speech Therapy
• Speech Therapy Is Done, aka I Graduated from Talking School
• Better Speed to Stroke Treatment
• NDT
• Emerging Stroke Recovery Treatments? Yeah NO.
• Weekly Columnists
• Sunday Stroke Survival: Confessions of a Former Techie
• Jackie The Jester: What God Said to Adam !!!!
• TED Talks - David Pogue: Cool New Things You Can Do With Your Mobile
• Rick Mercer Report: Republic of Doyle Special Effects
• Laid-Back Administration: No Posts This Week
• Daily Comics: FB Or FW, Dilbert, Mayes, Doonesbury

Definition: One-Hand Typing with Your Cell Phone

One-hand typing after a stroke used to be very, very slow!
Not now - Minuum, Swype, SwiftKey, Fleksy, Adaptxt, ..., works very fast and very simple!
P.S. I tried 3 of the 5 type of keyboards - all of them are very good!

Minuum and 12 Videos
As well see the different style, keyboard, colour, algorithms, ... etc:
         ▶  Swype From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
         ▶  SwiftKey From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
         ▶  Fleksy From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
         ▶  Adaptxt From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Minuum [mi-n'yü-əm] not on the Wikipedia YET...

Some quote from the text from Minuum keyboard:

The Minuum keyboard is smarter, faster, and works on any size of device. How does a tiny keyboard work with big fingers? It knows what you want to type, even when you miss every letter.  

Model Your Users:
      Algorithms Behind the Minuum Keyboard

Jan 23, 2014 / Posted by Xavier Snelgrove

When you’re creating a new keyboard technology, there’s a ton of work that goes into both the interaction design, and into the algorithms behind the scenes. While the design of our keyboard is best understood simply by using it, the real “magic” that makes our one-dimensional keyboard possible lies in the statistical algorithms that make it tick. 

If you haven’t already seen or used the Minuum keyboard, the brief summary is that we let you compress the conventional keyboard down to just one row of keys, opening up the possibility of typing anywhere where you can measure one dimension of input.

By shrinking the keyboard in this way we soon had to grapple with a basic fact: human input is imprecise, and the faster you type the more imprecise it gets. Rather than trying to improve user precision, we instead embrace sloppy typing.

This only works because we use disambiguation in addition to auto-correction. While “auto-correction” implies that you made a mistake that needed correcting, “disambiguation” accepts the fundamental ambiguity of human interaction, and uses an understanding of language to narrow things down. Think of it like speech recognition: in a noisy bar, the problem isn’t that your friends are speaking incorrectly; human speech is ambiguous, and the noisiness of the environment sure doesn’t help. You can only understand them because you have prior knowledge of the sorts of things they are likely to say.

Which leads us into the wonderful world of…

See the whole Minuum article by: 
      Xavier Snelgrove - Bayesian statistics! and more....

See the Minuum for the iPhone and the Minuum for the Android.

The Minuum Keyboard Project [updated version!]
Published on Mar 19, 2013

SSTattler - Available now:

• iPhone, iPad,
• Android,
• smartWatch,
• Google Glass (experimental i.e. beta).

You can also follow us on twitter: @minuum

Standard YouTube License @ Minuum Keyboard

Video: One-Hand Typing with Cell Phone

Contents:

1. The Best... 
2. Minuum 
3. Swiftkey 
4. Swype 
5. Fleksy 
6. TouchPal

1. The Best...

iOS 8: Best Third-Party Keyboards!

Published on Oct 1, 2014

In this video:

• Swiftkey 
• Minuum
• Swype 
• Fleksy 
• TouchPal

Although the design still looks the same, Apple’s iOS 8 is different. There are some new features, as expected, but this year Apple’s software is more open than ever. Now developers can tap into things like Sharing Options, Custom Actions, Notification Center, and more. In fact, iOS 8 has introduced more than 4,000 APIs and services, which means we have yet to see the software reach its potential. Apple is already reportedly hard at work on the next big updates, which means there are still many major improvements to come. MORE: http://bit.ly/1uCj7kO

Standard YouTube License @ TechnoBuffalo

Eclectic

Definition: Eclectic(noun) a person who derives ideas, style, or taste from a broad and diverse range of sources.

Judgment Call

22 September 2012

Pamela Hsieh
Rehab Revolution

So I know this is practically the zillionth time I’ve written about it, but I’ve ultimately come to a conclusion about the Gym-Pact app for smartphones: It’s more trouble than it’s worth.

I only pledge $10 a week for five days at the gym. What this means is that for every week I go to the gym at least five days, I earn a portion of the money I wagered.

The sucky part is that if I skip a day, or worse, two, I am charged $10 per day I miss in my pact.

As if that weren’t enough, I always disliked the way that Gym-Pact required you to physically visit the gym. Which I thought would be helped by the fact that they recently partnered up with another app, RunKeeper, which uses your phone’s GPS signal to track how far you walk, jog, or cycle somewhere. However, the integration of RunKeeper with Gym-Pact is still rocky.

The End of a Myth

Barb Polan
Barb’s Recovery

24th February 2013

Yesterday, Tom and I hosted a gathering of rowers; although everyone sees each other often during the rowing season, the out-f-season months often keep us separated from most of the others, so we plan social events in the off-season. We have frequent TGIF gatherings at pizza places or the local brew pub. Last year someone organized a keep-in-shape program in a nearby health club. Tom and I hold an annual Bananagrams party. It's a simple Scrabble-like game dependent more on the speed at which you can assemble words rather than points associated with words. Not as hard to win as I find "Words with Friends" is on my phone. We selected our library as the room to play in. Of course, it's at the opposite end of the house from the kitchen. That meant I made about 30 (or was it 300?) trips the length of our house (90 feet) carrying food, plates, glasses, etc. To carry objects, I walked (lurched along?) without my cane. Walking without my cane overuses my hip flexor, so I try to minimize it. Although my lurching during preparations was about my usual, I felt as though something was different, although I couldn't identify it. Going up the stairs at bedtime, I tried using my hamstring to bend my leg, and everything went as usual, with my leg rising behind me. This morning, while still in bed, I was lying on my right side and decided to roll to my back. To straighten my legs, I tried my left first and - unbelievable - my hamstring flexed and swung my foot behind me. Thrilled, I laid on my back and slid my left foot up toward my bum, then straightened it; I repeated it over and over until the comforter caused too much friction to pull my foot toward my torso. My dreams of being able to walk normally, climb stairs alternating feet on the steps, and kick my feet while sitting on a swing (not really) are now within reach. I am so proud of my hard work and persistence that I'm crying as I type this. Now I am convinced that one day I'll be able to open and close my hand. My philosophizing often includes stories about my daughter, so here's another "Millie story."...although Millie played youth soccer - just like every other kid in Northborough - she was never an athlete. In eighth grade,though, she took up lacrosse. Now, lacrosse is basically just running up and down the field waving a stick around. To get better at lacrosse, running helps. Millie took up running a couple miles a day on days she didn't have lacrosse practice. One day she returned home from a run and announced, "I have just learned that being in shape isn't a myth." Now that she was actually in shape, she felt the difference between being in and out of shape, something she hadn't quite believed before. Now she was convinced. Although since the stroke, I have believed that I would someday again be able to use my hand, now I'm convinced. It is no longer a myth, a pretty story I tell myself.

See the original article:

The End of a Myth

in

Barb's Recovery

Answering Machines & Aphasia...

Diane
The Pink House On The Corner

Friday, December 5, 2014

It was bound to happen, our old cordless telephone bit the dust, bought the big one, just up and died...

And the sad thing about that is -- on the old answering machine was Bob's "greeting" recorded over 7 years ago which was, back in the day, when he could actually speak normally...

This past week, I took Bob to Best Buy to look for a new phone. And while I stood there in front of the tons of different phones trying to figure out which would be the best phone, Bob, in his wheelchair, pointed to the top row and said, "That one!"

So I bought it. Took it home. Set it up. And then had a brilliant idea. (Think lightbulb over my head!)

I would have Bob record the new greeting!

Now I realized we would probably have to rehearse and do some trial runs, but, heck, after six months of speech therapy and everyone is remarking on how much better he is speaking, I am thinking this should be a cinch!

If, that is, I keep it simple enough.

Can an iPhone or other Smartphone Save Your Life?

Bill Yates
Brain Posts

21st June 2010

I enjoyed a recently posted TED talk that has some neuroscience implication. I will summarize a TED MED presentation by David Pogue. The talk was titled "Can the iPhone Save Your Life?". The presentation was presented live in October of 2009 but just recently became available on the website.

David is a key electronics guru and educator with a regular column in the New York Times. He was asked about the potential role for the iPhone and other smart phones in medicine. David has a large Twitter following and asked his audience their best recommendations for medical apps. Here is the list of apps he briefly reviews in the TED MED talk:

1. Jet Lag RX-An application that let's you input your travel schedule. Provides advice on adjusting sleeping schedule to combat jet lag symptoms. This app is not listed as of today in the iTunes store. Four other jet lag apps are available.
2. uHear-An application that can be used to check hearing. Earbuds are used and the app tests hearing across a variety of frequencies. Highly rated by reviewers on the iTunes website.
3. SoundAMP-An application that can be used to amplify ambient sound to help you hear better. This app now comes in a Lite (free) version and one that sells for 99 cents.
4. Proloquo2go- The most expensive app reviewed, this app now costs $189. It is an alternative communication device that allows users to touch screen and communicate with others. Has been used successfully in ALS, mental retardation and autism. Pogue noted it can replace computer devices costing $6000 or more, plus it is portable.
5. Period Tracker/Period Tracker for Men-This app allows for recording and tracking menstrual cycles. Additionally, can be used to record associated symptoms and predict future cycles. Also can be synced to husband/spouses device to assist communication.
6. Lose It!- Free food calorie diary that tracks daily calorie intake and provides database of calorie counts for a variety of foods. Also allows tracking of exercise calories. A good mobile surveillance device for those interesting in weight loss.
7. Osirix-An app for physicians that allows physicians to download a view radiology images. Uses radiology standard image viewing.
8. Anatomy Lab- A $9.99 application that simulates a human cadaver. Allows for moving through a variety of levels as the virtual body is dissected.
9. Epocrates-A physician drug database tool. Allows for searching for medications, doses, adverse effects and drug interactions. Available also online.
10. AirStrip OB- Allows obstetricians to remotely monitor labor. The app requires installation of a separate AirStrip OB system.
11. AllScripts Remote-A remote access tool for physicians to access their patient's electronic medical record.
12. Lifescan Bluetooth Wireless Glucose Monitor-This app is not available currently on iTunes, but several glucose log apps are available.
13. Magnifier-An app that magnifies images like a magnifying glass. Uses iPhone camera to view then enlarge print. This could be quite helpful for the visually impaired.

This presentation is entertaining and optimistic. It is somewhat dated now but still gives a good overview of the potential for mobile devices to impact medical care.

I found one possible lifesaving application for the iPhone--a blood alcohol monitoring device (see reference). Japanese researchers have tested the iPhone as a potential device that could supplant the alcohol monitor car lock. This research suggests the iPhone has sufficient ability through cognitive and psychomotor testing to tell if someone is safe to drive.

Post a comment if you have experience with a cool phone app that you feel can impact medical care.

Matsumura K, Yamakoshi T, & Ida T (2009). Performance measures of alcohol-induced impairment: towards a practical ignition-interlock system for motor vehicles. Perceptual and motor skills, 109 (3), 841-50 PMID: 20178284


Standard YouTube License @ TEDMED

See the original article:

Can an iPhone or Other Smartphone Save Your Life?

in

Brain Posts

How Brain Performs 'Motor Chunking' Tasks

Dean Reinke
Deans’ Stroke Musing

Thursday, June 14, 2012

This is something our therapists should know about in order to help us recover our motor deficits. I would expect a therapy protocol to come from this research - How Brain Performs 'Motor Chunking’ Tasks.

You pick up your cell phone and dial the new number of a friend. Ten numbers. One. Number. At. A. Time. Because you haven't actually typed the number before, your brain handles each button press separately, as a sequence of distinct movements.

After dialing the number a few more times, you find yourself typing it out as a series of three successive bursts of movement: the area code, the first three numbers, the last four numbers. Those three separate chunks allow you to type the number faster, and with greater precision. Eventually, dialed often enough, the number is stored in your brain as one chunk. Who needs speed dial?

"You can think about a chunk as a rhythm," said Nicholas Wymbs, a postdoctoral researcher in UC Santa Barbara's Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences, and the lead author of a new study on motor chunking in the journal Neuron, published by Cell Press. "We highlight the two-part process that seems to occur when we are chunking. This is demonstrated by the rhythm we use when typing the phone number: rapid bursts of finger movements that are interspersed by pauses."

Waiting, or Not.

Andrea
A Year of Living In My Head

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Do you feel like you are getting "better"? Are the people around you patient? Are you patient? Do you remember when you travelled down the road unaware of what a stroke can really do?  Do you remember when strokes are what you have when you are quite mature in age, perhaps living in assisted living? Do you have a very different fear added to your emotional repertoire that you feel has been forced upon you? Do you have a view of what makes a life, and how you wish to enter death?

Some days I have a pot of roiling questions twisting through my brain.  I think they are actually always there in the background, I just don't recognize how they may change my approach to things.

I have mentioned before, I will say it again, my trust relationship with my body is sorely compromised. I spend a lot of time weighing, rationalizing, arguing, accepting, promising and planning.  I know nothing is certain, nothing is guaranteed. Except that I am here.  There can be no waiting for me in this life anymore.  Technically this is true for everyone, I feel like we have just had a bit louder reminder of our finiteness.  I know that, but I also forget.

How about you?

See the original article:

Waiting, or Not.

in

A Year of Living In My Head

Constraint Therapy is Good and Bad

Rebecca Dutton
Home After a Stroke

December 4, 2014

When a new graduate told a blogger that stroke recovery happens in the first two years I decided to write about constraint therapy.  It was designed by a psychologist named Edward Taub who did not assume recovery after a stroke is time limited.  Briefly, constraint therapy means putting a mitt on the sound hand during 2 hours of therapy for the hemiplegic hand PLUS leaving the mitt on the sound hand for 3 to 6 hours each day.  This forces the hemiplegic hand to work.  Since 1993 many constraint therapy studies have found clients can recover hand function for years after a stroke.

Constraint therapy is good because it challenged long held beliefs about stroke recovery. Constraint therapy is bad because it was designed by a man who grew up in a culture where men can expect women to take care of them.  It would be nice if  husbands would go grocery shopping, cook, and do laundry while wives constrain their sound hand every day.

Current research offers an alternative.  Hayner found guiding both hands to work while making lunch, eating, and cleaning up helped stroke survivors improve as much as subjects whose hand was constrained during the same activity (1).  Hayner concluded the duration of forced hand use is what matters.  Sterr reported a similar finding (2).  Stroke survivors who were helped to use their hemiplegic hand for 90 or 180 minures improved as much as subjects who received constraint therapy for the same amount of time.

How can stroke survivors ensure this much hand use?  I do exercises with a spring-loaded splint called SaeboFlex that helps me open my hand 100 times.  Now my hemiplegic hand can open to hold over 100 objects while my sound hand manipulates those objects.  Brief hand use adds up.  In 11 years my hemiplegic hand has opened to hold a tube of toothpaste 16,060 times so my sound hand can take the cap off and put the cap back on after I put toothpaste on my toothbrush. Bottom Line: More than one type of forced use can improve hand function years after a stroke.  Rehab professionals and stroke survivors need to let go of old myths.

1. Hayner K, Gibson G, Giles G. Comparison of constraint-induced therapy and bilateral treatment of equal intensity in people with chronic upper-extremity dysfunction after cardiovascular accident.  American Journal of Occupational Therapy. 2010;64(4):528-539.
2. Sterr A, Oneill D, Dean P, Herron K.  CI therapy is beneficial to patients with chronic low-functioning hemiparesis after stroke. Front. Neurol. 2014;5:

See the original article:

Constraint Therapy is Good and Bad

in

Home After a Stroke

Gift Ideas for Survivors

Marcelle Greene
Up Stroke

Thursday, December 4, 2014

This time last year I wrote about all the stroke-related clutter I’ve collected in my house. So I recognize the irony now of writing a post advocating the acquisition of still more stuff. But a couple purchases I made recently have really improved my quality of life.

Food Trolley

I was making multiple trips to carry all my meal items one-at-a-time from the kitchen and back. While multiple trips meant more exercise, it wasn’t quality exercise. I was focused on not spilling my coffee instead of posture and mechanics. I’d rather wheel my breakfast to the table in one fell swoop and save my energy for quality exercise at the gym.

Since buying the food trolley, I have found multiple other uses – i.e., unloading the dishwasher onto the trolley and rolling it around the kitchen to put things away – same goes for laundry once it’s folded.

Robotic Vacuum Cleaner

Vacuuming is even harder after a stroke: moving the cord and furniture out of the way, wrapping up the cord at the finish – it is frustrating and hard on my back. Sweeping can be good therapy, but it doesn’t work on carpets and it’s exhausting. Enter my Roomba 630 – a relatively inexpensive robotic vacuum.

Last weekend, we had a dinner party. After being on my feet all morning preparing food, I was able to turn on my Roomba to clean my floors while I took a nap. I awoke to a clean house – rested and ready to greet my guests.

See the original article:

Gift Ideas for Survivors

in

Up Stroke

Video: Be Brave, Try Something New: Aphasia Speech Therapy

Mark A. Ittleman
The Teaching of Talking

December 4th / 2014

In this video (where Moshe Mark is trying to learn the art of Video Editing…too dark…) we learn about the concept of trying something new!



Standard YouTube License @ Mark Ittleman

Speech Therapy Is Done, aka I Graduated from Talking School

Joyce Hoffman
The Tales of a Stroke Patient

Dec 7, 2014

I still have the remnants of dysarthria, the speech condition that makes talking tough after the stroke and affects the muscles in the face, particularly the mouth, and respiratory system. But I went to a speech therapist to get help and who I didn't like at first. She was all grim and business-y. Like when she corrected me when I called her a speech therapist instead of the more la-de-da-sounding speech and language pathologist. Drama queen, I said to myself.

Slowly, after two months, she got around to cracking a smile. When she and I were done a month later, she told me that her husband was an egomaniac, that her partying son flunked out of Harvard, and that her stressed-out daughter couldn't get pregnant. I sat there calmly, but I had my own problems.

Better Speed to Stroke Treatment

Jeff Porter
Stroke of Faith

Tuesday, December 02, 2014

More evidence that mobile stroke treatment can result in better outcomes. Just read about a recent study indicating that a mobile unit speeds access to tPA:

Nearly one-third of (32.6%) ischemic stroke patients who were transported in the special ambulance received thrombolysis, compared with 22% of patients who received conventional care ..., reported researcher Martin Ebinger, MD, of the Charite-Universitatsmedizin in Berlin, and colleagues. 

Hospital transport ... increased the number of tissue plasminogen activator (tPA) treatments within the critical window of 1 hour (the "golden hour") from symptom onset almost 10-fold, they wrote online in JAMA Neurology. 

Golden-hour thrombolysis was associated with better short-term outcomes in the study population, they added.

Read the whole article for details for a way to improve the application of this treatment and improved versions in the future.

See the original article:

Better Speed to Stroke Treatment

in

Stroke of Faith

NDT

Amy Shissler
MyCerebellarStrokeRecovery

December 6, 2014

Neurodevelopmental treatment is a certification you can get as a physical therapist that a whole lot of people use when treating stroke patients.  I don’t agree with the approach.  NDT is all about inhibiting improper movements. If you get trained in NDT, the basic premise – I think, I’m not trained in NDT so I can’t say for sure – is that if you allow the bad movements it will lead to even more bad movements.  Nope.  I think that you need to let your movements be weird and then try to gain more control over them and make them better.  If you don’t let the movements be all weird, how on earth will they get better?  Just inhibiting the weird movement from the get-go will not work.  I had a stroke – I know what I’m talking about.  I’m a physical therapist – I know what I’m talking about.

Peter G. Levine also knows what he’s talking about……

NDT

This goes for emotional crap too.  Don’t fight it, it’s ok.  Let the bad feelings be there and acknowledge them.  You’ll be shocked at how much pressure is taken off your shoulders once you say to yourself “well I feel like shit and that’s ok, I’m not gonna pretend everything is hunky-dory when it’s so, so, so, so, so, so not.  Moving all weird is ok and feeling like crap is ok.

See the original article:

NDT

in

My Cerebellar Stroke Recovery

Emerging Stroke Recovery Treatments? Yeah NO.

Peter G. Levine
Stronger After Stroke

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Just caught this over at Dean's stellar stroke-recovery site.

An article called "Emerging Treatments for Motor Rehabilitation After Stroke."  They include:
• mirror therapy
• motor imagery or mental practice
• constraint-induced movement therapy
• noninvasive brain stimulation
• selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor medications

A coupla itzy problems: These treatment options have been around for at least a decade and at least one has little proven efficacy.

Let's get the 5th one out of the way; these meds (SSRIs) are things like prozak and paxil and they usually treat depression. They've been used forever to treat depression in survivors. Do they help depression, yeah. Do they help you recover, no. SSRI's effectiveness-- if you take JAMA's word for it: meh. BTW, Mild to moderate depression is probably better treated with exercise. (A review here from Harvard.) And exercise is what survivors ought to be doing anyway, so its a two-fer!

The 2nd and 3rd I've been involved in published clinical trials and have written about in my book, blog entries and magazine articles. In fact, our group, led by our fearless leader Stephen J. Page, was the first do do a modification of constraint induced therapy, and the first to look at motor imagery post stroke. And this goes back to the late 90s. "Emerging Treatments." Yeah. No. I've written about it extensively in every edition of my book as well as magazine articles, journal articles and every talk I've ever done.

Mirror therapy has been around for stroke, again, since the late 90s. I've written about it in this blog, in my book and in every talk.

Noninvasive brain stimulation is nonspecific but they're talking about Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), which has been around for quite some time. Our group has done a lot of work with the "next gen" of this called Navigated Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation -- basically its more accurate. But there is no research that shows that sapping the "stroked" brain with TMS does anything--yet. Promising, maybe, but not much there...yet.

So we have 3 "emerging" treatment option that have been around for more than a decade, one option that probs does not work and one that we're not sure what it does or how to use it.

See the original article:

Emerging Stroke Recovery Treatments? Yeah NO.

in

Stronger After Stroke

Weekly Columnists

Sunday Stroke Survival: Confessions of a Former Techie

Jo Murphey
The Murphey Saga

Sunday, December 7, 2014

I was a techie. There I said it, but notice the first four words in the picture. If it was new tech, I had to get it. I got one of the first hard drive on my computer (2 meg). I was hot stuff in my computer programming classes. Everyone was so envious.

Car phones? I was the first one to get a bag phone with its own battery. Microwave ovens, 25 inch computer monitors, satellite radios, solar power panels, and the list goes on and on.

Then came the advent of cell phones. Not the big bulky ones but the small flip phones. Technology was growing so fast my pocketbook couldn't keep up. I refused to buy a tiny, blasted flip phone. Why? Because Momma/Grandma like to be out of touch sometimes. I liked it that way.

That was until I started traveling hither and yon with my company and with my hubby to his various doctors all over the country. I still had teenage children at home that needed to be monitored. Also during this time, I swore for Christmas I was going to have the home phone surgically removed from their ears too. Yeah, it was a corded phone too. That way I could always find the receiver. I didn't buy a cordless one until they all were grown and left my house much to their dismay.

Jackie The Jester: What God Said to Adam !!!!

Jackie Poff
Stroke Survivors Tattler

God said, "Adam, I want you to do something for Me."

Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do you want me to do?"

God said, "Go down into that valley."

Adam said, "What's a valley?"

God explained it to him. Then God said, "Cross the river."

Adam said, "What's a river?"

God explained that to him, and then said, "Go over to the hill...."

Adam said, "What is a hill?"

So, God explained to Adam what a hill was. He told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave."

Adam said, "What's a cave?"

After God explained, He said, "In the cave you will find a woman."

Adam said, "What's a woman?"

So God explained that to him, too. Then, God said, "I want you to reproduce."

Adam said, "How do I do that?"

God first said (under his breath), "Geez....."  And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well.

So, Adam goes down into the valley, Across the river, and over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman.

Then, in About five minutes, he was back.

God, his patience Wearing thin, Said angrily, "What is it now?"

And Adam said... "What's a headache???"