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| Rebecca Dutton Home After a Stroke |
My hemiplegic hand helps my sound hand do over 100 different tasks. However, I am often slow or do a modified version of the task. Despite my self-confidence, dozens of people have offered to do a manual task for me. A few have even taken an object out of my hand. Able-bodied people know it is easy for them to quickly manipulate an object -- so why should I do it if they are there? My response when people offer to help when I do not need it is "I can do it myself, but thank you for offering." When I say this I always make sure to smile and look them in the eye. This is a nice way to acknowledge their good heart without embarrassing them when I reject their help.
Yet nine years after my stroke I see that this small group of insistent people will always be there. After I use the "thank you " response I am going to try a second-tier response to more forcefully rebuff these people. I am going to say "If I lived in a facility that took me to Wal-Mart once a week I would go stark raving mad. Do not take away the independence that keeps me in my home."
I honestly do not know how handicapped children ever become independent adults.
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Sorry, Rebecca, but if you were to use your Wal-Mart response, people would think you'd ALREADY gone stark raving mad.
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