Saturday, January 17, 2015

Fitting In

Amy Shissler
My Cerebellar Stroke Recovery
December 29, 2014

Christmas Day was a long ass day for me.  It involved a lot of acting as normal as I can and trying to fit in as much as I can in front of a bunch of different people at 3 different houses.  And I was absolutely exhausted by the end of the day and needed 2 days to recover.  AND a comment was made in jest about my intelligence and I’m extra super ultra sensitive about that so I got extremely pissed off.  A lot of people probably think “it’s been almost 4 years, why is it still such an issue?”  It is still very much an issue, and I’m assuming always will be.  My brain isn’t like ‘normal’ peoples’ brains, it is majorly different and affected and I can’t do certain things and now that I look quite normal and sound kinda sorta close to normal, no one gets it.  It was much easier to get people to understand that I can’t do certain things or need lots of breaks when I looked and sounded terrible.  But I don’t now.  My introverted personality made days like this exhausting for me before the stroke, but now….well now I get anxiety about it beforehand and it takes a few days to recover and feel ‘normal’ again.  Ah well, c’est la vie.













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