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Amy Shissler
My Cerebellar Stroke Recovery

Aug 30, 2014

I’m really good with words (hence the popularity and continued growth of this blog).  And because of that, I’m really good at being mean to people and making them feel like crap.  But I hate this about myself.  I have spent the last week being really depressed and that depression was triggered by a mean comment that was left on my blog.  I wasn’t depressed about the comment, the comment itself was absolutely absurd and ridiculous and was made by a guy with a whole HELL of a lot of misdirected anger. I was super upset about the way that I reacted to the comment.  I got angry and impulsively retaliated by saying a whole bunch of mean things that I later regretted saying.  Because of this I considered stopping this blog.  That was a very transitory thought and is now gone.  But the difference between myself and a narcissist with a God complex saying something like that is that I recognize when this happens and I apologize for it.  I’m very much aware of this aspect of my personality and am consciously trying to change it.  Other people do not recognize certain things in themselves, only in others.

This blog used to be nothing but a fun, positive thing in my life.  Now, it’s different.  It’s grown so much(which is a great thing) and attracted so many people(also great)- some of those people felt entitled and like I owe them something and have tried to control me and what I say on here or the way that I say them.  Not gonna happen.  Some of these things were said to me publicly by way of leaving nasty comments on here, other things have been said to me other ways by people who I assume didn’t have the courage to say it publicly.  Either way, bad idea.  Say something like that to me and it will only fuel my anger and end up having the opposite effect.  For a long time, I absolutely loved getting comments and they sure didn’t cause me to feel bad.  If you have an opinion that differs from mine or knowledge about something that I’m lacking or said wrong, please leave a comment.  I welcome those kinds of comments.  But if you’re going to leave a comment that personally insults me and attacks me, be prepared because you will probably be personally attacked and insulted 20 times harder in return.  Hopefully not by me, like I said before I’m trying hard to change this about myself but I can’t speak for other people.  For this reason, I have changed the prompt below to say “comment at your own risk.”  All of the things that were said to me were unbelievably unempathetic things.  I really think I’m going to post the empathy video every time I publish a blog post no matter the topic.  Back when I was practicing, I think the reason my patients really, really loved me is because I treated everyone with the utmost respect and empathy.  I have not been treated the same, by multiple people.  I have learned that a lack of empathy is a rampant, rampant issue and a problem the majority of people on the planet are afflicted with.  There are other people in the world going through horrible things too.  Don’t say to someone that it could be worse and don’t ever, ever have the audacity to think or say that you or someone you know is going through something worse, you have no clue what someone else is going through on a day-to-day basis.  Don’t say to someone that you should be grateful that you can do certain things.  Nope, those are all disgusting, awful, horrible things to say to someone.  Don’t tell someone how to feel.

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My Cerebellar Stroke Recovery