I just had a very personal experience with a family member who was having a great deal of difficulty coping with living. He was depressed. What once was a young vibrant individual was now lost, confused and seemingly unable to accomplish basic everyday tasks; tasks that took some problem solving, time management and proactive thinking. Even basic goals were non-existent. Therefore this individual had no concrete plans for the future; it was dark; he could see, but had no vision. My hero Helen Keller said that one who could see but had no vision was worse than one who could not see but had a vision.
My wife and I went to the aide of this family member and flew across the ocean to evaluate his way of being and personal circumstances.
Upon arrival we found a few of his friends who were helpful, but they had just about given up on him. They had been prodding and prodding him for weeks, to no avail. They were at the point of disassociating themselves from him. For 14 days we visited and spent 24/7 together and found that everything his friends had said about him were true. He didn't want to do anything but sit, and smoke cigarettes. He did not care to speak very much, and did not want to be questioned. Although we met with great resistance, the kind that would make anyone give up, his mother persisted, and got him to the doctors, social workers, job and housing counsellors in the UK. By the end of the trip housing was provided by the UK health care system, group therapy appointments made, and a plan to get him the attention necessary. He had not been able to obtain these services by himself nor with the help of friends. In fact his friends became discouraged and refused further interactions.
Why is it that family, are usually the ones who stand by an individual no matter what, and never give up? Why is it they have a drive within them that often does whatever it takes?
We read of parents and spouses who have gone way beyond what is humanly possible in order to help a loved one in times of need. When we love someone we are often willing to pay any cost and make any sacrifice.
That is the kind of dedication and commitment it takes to also succeed in obtaining and providing speech and language stimulation at home for the child who does not speak or the adult who has lost the ability to talk. Many loved ones and caregivers believe there is no way they can learn and stimulate speech and language at home. Like many new skills, they just require attention, concentration and sincere desire.
Find out how you can learn to stimulate speech and language at home by reading our book "The Teaching of Talking" which you can find on our website at http://teachingoftalking.com. Mentoring services are also available by contacting us through our website or by e mailing me at markittleman@teachingoftalking.com.
Mark
Mark A. Ittleman, M.S., CCC/SLP
Author, Speech Language Pathologist
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