Making Sense of Things

Sas Freeman

June 21, 2015

5o shades

Firstly I would love to say a huge thank you to all my lovely Twitter friends, for their kind thoughts and messages whilst I’ve been in hospital, I really appreciate them. I’ve missed you all. I’m home now, as Nick mentioned, but due to much switching of medications, I’d be fibbing if I said I was feeling a lot better. Sometimes I think I do, then I try and stand in one position and I still experience the same bad symptoms as before. That said we are getting there. I’ve had a clever device fitted which tells my cardiologist, what the heart is doing when I experience these episodes. My meds have increased by 12 extra tablets a day so now it is such a huge quantity four times a day, remembering those with stroke brain is a task in itself  back to notes everywhere and as they keep changing you can imagine the muddle we get into, you have to laugh!

Returning to the heading, should I be asking instead ‘ can anyone make sense of these recurring setbacks?’ Pre stroke day’s I used to be one of those people always on the go, juggling several things at once and never tiring always fitting in something else.

These days my body is no longer able to drive, work or complete any task for long without being plagued by tremendous fatigue. Despite the desire, I am no longer able to be the sporty person of old. Why is it that I still long to work and be active yet my mind and body are no longer capable? If I’m no longer able to manage to do these things, why can I not be one of those ‘ couch potato types with no desire to work? Things would be easier to come to terms with at least. Instead, despite knowing only too well, I can no longer do these, I still always try to do a little more. I am Often rewarded with, like now, another stay in hospital!  Life and its efforts resembling a human version of snakes and ladders! I try once again and there appears another snake, before I can blink I’ve slipped back down the slippery slope into hospital via what appears to have become a rather regular method, with the help of the fabulous paramedics, to all of whom I’m hugely grateful.

So now I have truly gone full circle, bringing me back to the complexities of stroke. Going from someone who was fit, healthy,active, sporty not at all familiar with a stay in hospital pre stroke days, to someone who I fear they term a ‘frequent flyer?!’ How can this happen? Surely there has to be an answer to all of this somewhere.

If we look at AF alone and it was diagnosed in people, who like me believe to be fit and healthy, they could be put on relevant preventative medication depending on their individual requirements, protecting them against stroke. They could be saved this catalogue of conditions, still allowed to work and drive and the NHS saved millions in the end, surely this has to be the way to go? So I feel I’ve arrived at an answer but if only it were that simple.

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Making Sense of Things

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Sas Freeman