Eclectic: Jackie - Profound One-Liners

Jackie - SSTattler

• It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.
• You are not drunk and if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
• We have enough "youth". How about a fountain of "smart"?
• The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
• A Fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.
• When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
• Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two it's an amusement park.
• Learn from your parents' mistakes, use birth control.
• Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
• Don't Drink and Drive. You might hit a bump and spill something.
• If at first you don't succeed skydiving is not for you
• Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
• We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
• Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
• Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.
• Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to produce reproductive organs.
• Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
• The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population.
• You know why a banana is like a politician? He comes in and first he is green, then he turns yellow and then he's rotten.