Jester: Bear Remover...

Jackie Poff
Stroke Survivors Tattler

A homeowner in Alberta wakes up one morning to find a bear on her roof. She looks in the yellow pages and finds an ad for "Alberta Bear Remover." So she calls the number and a man says he'll be over in 30 minutes.


The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, 12-gauge shotgun and a mean looking pit bull dog.

"What are you going to do?" the homeowner asks.

"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof. Then I'm going to go up and I'll knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off the roof, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will become subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."

Then he hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.

"If the bear knocks me off the roof...  Shoot the dog!!"