In an article on employment for people with disabilities, I came on this vignette that I thought was quite appropriate.
I've Not Changed
"As a rehabilitation and employment counsellor for people with disabilities, I thought I understood how much pain and suffering my clients with disabilities had to face. That was until I lost my sight. I now understand firsthand how my world as a person with a disability more often than not means that social and professional interactions become an excuse to exclude me. I was once considered an expert and leader in my profession but that went away after losing my sight. Now my personal and professional identity and even my faculties are continually being questioned. I have not changed, but the world around me certainly has by the way it responds and reacts to me. I have simply been reassigned to the margins of society by people who feel more comfortable with keeping people with disabilities out of sight, out of mind, and out of work."See more: Canadian Association of Professionals with Disabilities.
Did you understand what living with stroke disability would be like before you had a stroke? Do you feel like you have been assigned to the margins of society?
As a care-partner, I feel like you do, when someone says that to me. Someone who has never had a stroke, or cared for someone who has stroke disabilities for a long period of time, can't possibly understand how it feels personally. They can try to imagine, sympathize or feel sorry for us, but that's about it. Imagine if you are at the bottom of a dark,100 foot well, and someone yells down from the light above "I know exactly how you feel down there". It's not possible unless the two of you switch places somehow. The most honest statement people make to me is "I can't imagine what it must be like for you and Paul". That's the truth...they can't even imagine what we go through every day. Not only can't they imagine it, they don't want to be faced with it very much either. That's why I believe family and friends drift away from us, to protect themselves from having to come to terms with the fact that our lives have been forever changed in many ways. Losing your sight, as the man in the article did, is a bit different that a devastating stroke, but also similar in that people DO feel more comfortable keeping people with disabilities out of sight and out of mind. Sad, but true.
ReplyDeleteMarti and Paul